Note to self: Don't schedule emotional school meetings the same week you'll be completely emotional due to hormones outside of your control.
Well I drove down to school on Thursday. The drive was nice. Mom and I rented the original radio performance of Star Wars on CD and listened to it there and back. It was a 5 and a half hour drive, but it didn't seem that long.
The school is BEAUTIFUL. It looks more like a national park than a college campus. Beautiful red brick buildings, trees, sculptures all over the place. Of course my camera batteries died as soon as we got there.
My meeting was on Friday afternoon, so we had the rest of Thursday and all of Friday morning to ourselves. We headed into town and hit the knitting store.
I was very disappointed. Dark, dingy, unfriendly and without a decent wool selection. The only half decent yarn they had was Frog Tree alpaca. Everyone keeps saying that at least I'll come home to visit and buy yarn this way.
Friday, the day of my meeting, I was a wreck. I bawled in the morning. Then I went to my meeting. Then I cried for the first, oh, half hour of the drive before my mom made me drive. (She knew I would regain emotional control if I had to drive. And it worked.)
I'm so freaked out because this is where everything went wrong last time. I was all set for school, had all my classes and then boom. All my money stuff fell through and I had to drop out. I can't go through that again. I have nothing to fall back on. No place to live, I can't afford an apartment on my salary, this is it. It's either school or rocks in the pockets and a trip to the river.
I keep telling myself that I can't get emotionally invested until I have the loan stuff all settled, but who am I kidding? I'm already emotionally invested. I want this so badly and I swear if something as stupid as money holds me back...
Thank goodness there's a hockey game tonight, I need to let off some steam.