Stress level hit 100 this morning. Actually, it hit 100 so hard that it's completely out of sight at this point.
I was sitting down to pay my bills for the month and I decided to check on whether or not that second loan had gone through yet. Remember? The one that I got, then it disappeared, then I went and they fixed it?
So I sign on-line and check my account and it says
Total due as of Sept 10th: $5679.85
I stopped, literally froze with terror and stared at the billing screen. It looked as if I'd been charged for this semester twice. And if the bill wasn't paid by the 16th they were going to drop me from all of my classes.
I think I might have broken the sound barrier in my rush to get to the financial aid office. All I kept thinking was "Stay calm, don't cry, it'll get fixed." SO I waited in line and finally it was my turn and I went up and explained the problem. She typed away on her computer before looking up, smilingly, and saying:
"Oh you weren't charged twice. ALL YOUR LOANS HAVE BEEN CANCELED."
No words can really describe the level of horror that I reached in that moment in time. I just kept thinking that I couldn't do it again. I couldn't leave school and go back to temping and forget about my dream again. I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't help it. I cried. I covered my mouth, stared at her with huge eyes and cried. I couldn't form words at all. She asked me a few questions, had I written in and canceled the loans myself (umm... no), did I drop all of my classes, (umm... I missed one last Tuesday), did I get any notification at all? Then she told me to sit down and she'd try to figure out what had happened.
So I sit down, where everyone else in line is staring at the teary-eyed spaz, and tried to calm myself down and regain some level of control. 45 minutes pass before the woman came out and called me up again.
They'd called the loan company to verify the cancellation and ask why but the loan company said that they certainly hadn't canceled the loans. Again, a computer glitch had chosen my lucky account and had randomly canceled all my loans. They reinstated them manually, but once again I have to wait 2-3 weeks for my refund check.
In the mean time I still haven't found a job and Ly blamed me for her getting stung by a bee over the weekend.