November 21, 2005

Stress and Relief

So I woke up perky this morning... I should have known right away that was a bad sign.

About halfway through the morning my dad called me at work to tell me that my mother's kidneys had failed and she was in the emergency room, but to stay at work and try not to worry.


Why is it that when people give you bad news they always tell you not to worry? Even when I talked to my mom later on she told me not to worry. I told her I'd get right on that as soon as I learned how to stop myself breathing without dying.

So there I sat at work, crying and trying not to, sniffling and dribbling, just the sort of receptionist I'm sure they always wanted working for them.

But mom seems like she's doing better. She'll likely be in the hospital for 3-4 days, depending on how she responds to the treatements they try. Tomorrow she'll go in for an ultrasound of her kidneys so they can try to pinpoint what went wrong and where.

Of course now that I'm home and safe in the privacy of my own room, I can't shed a tear. I'm sure as soon as I get to work, where it's completely inappropriate, I'll start blubbering again.

Speaking of inappropriate, after I left the hospital I stopped off to do a little shopping therapy. It's a horrible habit that I have, when I get stressed I spend money that I don't really have and buy things that I can't really afford.

Today I bought myself a Zen Nano Plus. It's a 1GB MP3 player. Basically it's an iPod without the pricey name. I at least got it on sale, so it wasn't that much of a blow to my bank account. But still... I certainly could have lived without it.

It's still kinda neat, it holds 500 songs and is absolutely itty bitty. Right now I have on it:
5 Blackmore's Night CDs (Ghost of a Rose, Fires at Midnight, Shadow of the Moon, Beyond the Sunset and Under a Violet Moon)
All 3 Lord of the Rings soundtracks
Goblet of Fire soundtrack
2 Stressbusters CDs (classical music)
Jekyll & Hyde soundtrack
Phantom of the Opera soundtrack (movie version)
The Corpse Bride Soundtrack
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical Episode soundtrack

Damn... that's a lot of music for something the size of a cigarette lighter. And I still have a bit of space left, if I wanted to add a few odd songs from this or that CD.

Mostly it's nice to have something focus on besides worrying. I just hope that she's able to come to Thanksgiving with the family. I won't be able to enjoy the day without her.

Regardless of you religious persuasion, please say a prayer for my mom, for her health.

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