February 20, 2006

Oh yeah, it's Monday...

You know how you can tell that it’s Monday? When the first few hours of your morning go something like this….

Woke up to the always maddening screech of the alarm clock. I’m a snoozer, so I got up, walked over to it and slapped the button before flopping down onto my bed again. I noticed that my shoulder felt kinda funny so I shifted it and it… popped or clicked or something in the joint. Didn’t hurt, felt weird though. I rolled over and the other shoulder did the same thing. Perhaps this weekend I knit so much that I was in danger of knitting my arms off?

Fast forward to half an hour later when I’m standing in the bathroom, doing my make-up. 3 things struck me all at once. I had a song from Wizard of Oz stuck in my head (I hate that movie), my left eyelid was swollen and I’m having serious skin issues of the pubescently-nightmarish kind.

Again we fast forward to Kelly, in her snazzy car, listening to some soft classical music (I need a lot of quiet in the morning or I get very, Very, VERY cranky), and I see some road kill.

“Aww… poor little sku-ack!” *gag* *choke* *suffocate* “Window! Roll down the window!” So I drove on, in the very cold morning weather, with my windows down to help get rid of the skunk odor, blessing myself for buying that car freshener on a whim the day before.

I continue on my journey to work and see two women running in the road. No, not on the side of the road. No, not on the sidewalk. In the middle of the road. Taking up the WHOLE road. Two skinny women managed to take up a whole road. So I’m creeping along behind them and other cars are creeping along behind me and these two twits are just gossiping away, happily oblivious. Finally I lost my temper and laid into my horn. It’s rush hour, I need to get to work, I’m not a nice person in the morning and I was sick of being polite. If you can believe this… these two idiots gave me a dirty look. 12 cars backed up behind them and they have the nerve to give me dirty looks.

In spite of the two twits holding me up I still managed to make good time so that I could stop at the store and get myself some bagels. I had a huge girl jones for a cinnamon raisin bagel this morning. So I pick up a bag, but then I felt bad because I’d have something good for breakfast and no one else would. So I picked up a raspberry Danish, but it looked so small that I grabbed a box of donuts for everyone as well. But wait, the donuts were BOGOF, so I snagged another box and sort of hobbled to the line to pay, juggling many more things than I had intended to buy.

Of course nothing rings up the right price. I pointed out that the donuts are supposed to be BOGOF.

Bearing in mind that I DID used to work in retail and I DO remember annoying people who would gripe about incorrect prices, I have to say she was pretty pissy to me and I was being very polite. Finally she stomped off to check the price, then stomped back and fixed it without so much as an “You’re right ma’am.” Or “Sorry for the inconvenience miss” or anything else. So much for customer service.

So finally I get to work, where all is quiet and calm. But it’s Monday, so who knows what could be looming the dark shadows of the office.

I’ll have some pictures for you all tonight. Nope, not of my Olympic project. I think I’m going to wait until I’m closer to finished to show you anything. But I will show you the chocolate nightmare cake that my little sister decided to bake while she was spending the weekend with me. Before you see the picture, try to imagine this in your heads…

Chocolate cake. Chocolate chips sprinkled in the batter. Chocolate frosting. Chocolate sprinkles on top.

Two layers.

Got milk?

1 comment:

Chris said...

Your morning sounds like how I feel right now.

That's extremely chocolatey sounding. Mmmmmm....