I had such a horribly unproductive weekend. And might I add that hockey games and hangovers don’t really mix well. I barely worked on my KIKASS shawl, I didn’t finish reading Oliver Twist, I didn’t do any laundry and I didn’t bake the cake that I wanted to.
I’m cranky, so read these 100 things about me instead of suffering through my pissy mood.
1. I’m left handed.
2. I can write perfect backwards cursive with my right hand.
3. I love thunderstorms. Mostly due to the fact that when I was little and it stormed, my mother would curl up with me in a blanket by the door so we could listen to the thunder together.
4. I drive a stick shift and will probably never go back to automatic.
5. Bugs of all kinds eek me out. But spiders stop me dead in my tracks.
6. I met one of my best friends accidentally when I sent her a really nasty e-mail after I mistyped the address. (Coincidentally, she’s the one who taught me to knit.)
7. I blame my fascination with the macabre on the fact that I went to Edgar Allen Poe Grade School.
8. Science is to Kelly as Oil is to Water
9. When I, in all my C average glory in high school, scored the same on the ACT as my friend who was in mostly honors classes, she was so angry that she didn’t talk to me for a week. (I got C’s because I didn’t care, not because I was stupid. Apparently she thought I was just stupid.)
10. I once dated a guy who claimed to: be a duke from England who couldn’t return because the entire country would go wild with celebration, have been shot in the chest defending his father in Chicago, have been stabbed defending his dearest friend (the ‘scar’ was a stretch mark), be a professional quality drummer who turned down chances to play for ALL the popular bands, have scored a 40 on the ACT, know how to dance ballet… I could go on all day really. Mostly I stayed with him because it was soooo much fun to catch him in all the lies. “Oh Mr. Parish, it must have been SO traumatic to see your son shot!”
11. I can read palms, runes and tarot cards.
12. I have a really stupid psychic ability. I tend to think of specific TV episodes a few hours before they’re on. I also have random panic attacks right before I get phone calls with bad news in them.
13. I’ve never dated anyone for more than 6 months.
14. I won’t eat anything with more than 4 or less than 2 legs. (So no fish or lobster or other 6 legged beasties.)
15. I can’t have bones in my food. It reminds me that the thing I’m consuming used to be alive and I feel too guilty to eat.
16. I consider myself fairly low maintenance.
17. I love to give random presents.
18. I would rather have a grinding, horrific migraine than discuss politics, because I’ll likely end up with one anyways.
19. I used to be addicted to the Ouija board. I would use it alone almost every day and I have large gaps of missing time from this period. I can’t even be around them anymore.
20. Since Zoe was born my biological clock has started ticking a little too loudly to ignore.
21. I lived with a guy for 2 months and moved out on our 6 month anniversary.
22. I believe in ghosts.
23. My favorite color is green. Forest green.
24. My utter hatred of the color pink has slowly started wearing down to a mild dislike.
25. When I was younger I always wanted to be named Rebecca.
26. The only nickname I’ve ever had is Kelly-Belly (Use it and I’ll kill you.)
27. I have a star named after me. I got it for Christmas 2 years ago from my brother. The star is named… Kelly-Belly.
28. I’ve never had a black eye or a bloody nose.
29. I broke my left arm in 4 places in 1st grade. It was never correctly fixed, so I can do all sorts of interesting things to it that make some people scream.
30. I’m terrified of water at night. (Mainly being out in/on it. No cruises for me, thank you.)
31. My favorite animal is a shark. Followed closely by crocs.
32. I always read when I’m in the bathtub.
33. I have a fat face. (I blame the C-section.)
34. I once tied my legs together before jumping into a pool so I could swim like a mermaid. Didn’t work so well.
35. I’m growing my natural hair color out for the first time since I started dying it, in middle school.
36. I enjoy being in cemeteries. They’re so quiet and peaceful and you’re never alone.
37. I have a wicked temper if you push me far enough. Luckily it takes a lot of pushing.
38. The best costume I ever had for Halloween was Austin Powers. It’s kinda scary how much I looked like him. I still have the picture. I may post it…
39. I own 3 pairs of shoes. Boots. Sandals. Basic black dress shoes with no heels. I only bought the dress shoes because I was standing up in my brother’s wedding.
40. I have no sympathy for people who put/keep themselves in bad situations and then complain, but never try to fix them. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the occasional bad day rant. But when every day is a bad day…)
41. When my psych professor in college asked me where I was going when I got up in the middle of class, then protested that I couldn’t possibly need to pee that bad, I informed him, and the class, that I had to change my tampon and would he like me to bring the used one back as proof? The poor man never really recovered.
42. I procrastinate like no one else. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow…
43. Every major final project I’ve handed in, creative or research paper, have been done the day before/morning that they were due. (And they’re usually all ‘As’)
44. I love Kraft Mac and Cheese. I could, and sometimes do, eat it every night for dinner.
45. I love to verbally spar with people. But only when it’s all in good fun.
46. In The Last Unicorn, when the butterfly says “Has anybody here seen Kelly?” it always makes me smile.
47. I think Tim Curry is a sex god.
48. My first blog was called Retail is Hell and I made it to help maintain my sanity while working at Osco. I deleted it when I quit there.
49. My first pet was a black and white cat named Pumpkin Pie, but I was so little when I got her that I grew up calling her Kitty.
50. I make an awesome pan of lasagna.
51. I love to lie on the grass in summer and watch the clouds through the gaps of trees.
52. Vincent Price is also a sex god.
53. My first time at a hockey game was late last year. I mostly bought the tickets so that I could have ME time with my dad. I still love the ME time, but I love the game as well.
54. I’ve never tried a cigarette.
55. I’m running out of things to say.
56. I always wear the same jewelry. 2 rings and a watch on my left hand, 3 rings and my “Anna Bracelet” on my right, and a necklace with 3 charms from my father, a silver Hershey kiss, a pretty cross and a St. Christopher medal, and an amethyst crystal from my friend Jasmine. (See #6)
57. I love to watch the older Disney animated movies. They’re hypnotic.
58. I would rather have one great friend then a lot of good friends.
59. The last play I was in was The Cinderella Syndrome. I played one of the plain but good hearted stepsisters. I still remember all my lines and my entrance on stage, which was run, skid, stumble, summersault, end with butt in air towards audience.
60. I always sing in my car. Sometimes not even along to the song on the radio.
61. I still sleep with stuffed animals on my bed. (2 Grumpy Bears, a grey teddy bear, a knitted teddy bear that I made for myself, a stuffed owl, a frog prince, a little teddy bear my dad bought for me, a bear in a sweater my mom gave me, a stuffed monkey Anna gave me and a talking Gollum doll.)
62. The majority of the music I own is soundtracks and classical.
63. I was the only one in my family born ‘normal’. i.e. No health problems at birth. It’s a long running joke in the family that everyone wonders what happened since then.
64. I like caramel more than chocolate.
65. Garfield comics crack me up.
66. The only hand lotion I will use is Aveeno Stress Relief lotion with lavender.
67. I gnaw on my thumbnails without really biting them off.
68. My closet always has to be shut at night. Otherwise the boogeyman will sneak out and bite my ass.
69. My mom helped me strengthen my reading by having me read out loud to her all during 1st and 2nd grade. Her books of choice? Stephen King novels.
70. I never eat the last bite of anything. That’s where the poison is.
71. Every time I draw a self portrait I draw a tree in winter, without leaves, against a grey sky. Because it’s in winter that the tree grows under the soil, where it matters.
72. I won’t use any body wash/shampoo that smells like fruit.
73. I talk to animals. (Not in the Dr. Dolittle way, of course, but I like to think they understand me when I tell them they’re adorable little dorks.)
74. I almost never chew gum.
75. I’ll tell anyone, even complete strangers, to chew with their mouths closed. I hate the sound.
76. I don’t like high pressure salesmen.
77. I love pear and grapefruit flavored Jelly Bellies
78. I’m a suck up, and proud of it. I’m still friends with most of my college professors and have dinner with them on occasion.
79. I would love to learn to ballroom dance. And ice skate.
80. I’m a Harry Potter and Buffy freak.
81. The show that I watch the most on TV is Cops, because it amuses me to see stupid drunk people getting arrested.
82. I love to play in the snow.
83. I never blow my nose in public. I have to be alone or in a bathroom. I think the rest of the world should follow my example.
84. I’ve only ever knit with Fun Fur three times.
85. My favorite Shakespeare play is Much Ado About Nothing, because I think Beatrice is a lot like me. Now if I could only find a Benedict…
86. I love guys in sweaters.
87. I take notes in class in pencil.
88. I’m pretty close to beating Mario Sunshine
89. I own 2 wallets and 3 purses. And I switch them about once a year.
90. I’ve had to break a lot of hearts. Someone gives my cell phone number out as their own when they don’t like the guy asking for it. Her name is Jessica, that’s all I know about her.
91. My room right now has a cowboy border. I’m still trying to figure out how to cover it up.
92. I talk in my sleep every night. It used to wake my poor dad up.
93. I have a HUGE issue with men my age giving me work to do. I think it has something to do with their being the major part of the ‘entitlement generation’ and refusing to ask so much as demand. Older men, on the other hand, I have no issues with. Because they always ask, say please and then give you a sincere thank you. (This is making life difficult for the new project manager at my work, as he’s my age, has called me ‘sir’ twice and tends to annoy me enough that I snap at him for leaving paperclips lying around.)
94. I cannot be spoken to, or talk myself, for at least an hour after I’ve woken up. It makes me VERY cranky.
95. I listen to the same music every day on the way to work. Night on Bald Mountain, Dance Macabre, Toccata and Fugue, and, if my drive runs long, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
96. Pepsi is pretty much the only soda that I’ll drink.
97. I think beer is the vilest liquid ever invented by man. Followed only by vodka.
98. When I was little I preferred playing the villain than the fair princess under siege. The villain got to have more fun.
99. I love peas. I’ll eat them for every meal if I can get my hands on them. But they have to be canned, not frozen.
100. Once, while fishing in the ocean, I caught a shark, got dragged into the water by it, and was rescued by a burly fisherman. Had I been older than 10 I might have flirted with him, but as I was young I was mostly annoyed that my shark got away.
Oh, one other thing… that annoying woman who told me to stop working on the sweater and said we could only talk business from now on? Yeah… Monday she pulled another 360 and tried to be all friendly and nice and crap. I think she may be Sybil in disguise.
(And I’m cranky because my aunt, who I live with, violated #94. Asked me how her hair looked…. Eight Hundred TIMES.)