Wendy, of Wendy Knits! held a contest on her blog last week. Tell her why you deserved her sock yarn and if it was a good enough reason, she'd send you some. The following was my entry:
Why I Need Your Sock Yarn, or, The Sock Maiden's Tale
Ok, so here's the deal. I live in this far off, mystical land called Erehloowon. Yeah, it's great, we've got all sorts of cool, magical stuff that I'm sure you've never seen before in your life. Elves. Fairies. Dragons. Yup… crazy stuff.
We also have this wackjob King. King Chaussette. King Chaussette is a briophobic. Plainly speaking… he's afraid of feet. See? I told you. Wackjob.
King Chaussette sent out a royal e-mail, kinda like a decree only faster, telling everyone that, since he's terrified of feet, everyone must have their feet covered at all times. If you're caught with naked toes, you get executed in the worst way. Death by tickling.
Therein lies the problem that I'm hoping you can help resolve. We don't have socks here in Erehloowon. And, worse than that, we don't have sheep. You heard me, no sheep. No alpacas. No angora. No fiber bearing animals of any kind. The dragons hunted them all into extinction here in our fair land. When asked why, most of them said that the fluffy fiber worked like a really good colonic, cleaning their systems on the way out. We were sorry we asked.
Another royal e-mail went out, stating that anyone who could find a way to make socks for the kingdom would receive partial rule as a reward.
This e-mail caught the attention of my loser ex boyfriend, king of the get rich quick schemes. He started reading all sorts of books, trying to find a way to cash in on the reward, when he came upon this book. By these guys, you might have heard of them, the Brothers Grimm. Well thanks to these two geniuses, he got the great idea to go running to the King and tell him that I can spin straw into yarn. Jackass.
After I got through dumping him King Chaussette's guards came and locked me away in this tower. Full of straw. I've got three weeks to work magic and it's not looking too good.
My fairy godmother is on vacation, the shoemaker's elves don't do socks and Rumplestiltskin doesn't work this side of the Enchanted Forest. Can you help a damsel out?