I Just Can't Decide...

Whether to kill her, or myself.

There is a very handsome, sweet guy who does a lot of business for the place where I work. He’s adorable and I would very much like to go out with him, but I am, if nothing else, a stickler for workplace etiquette, and would never ask him out. Of course if he asked me, I’d jump for joy, but that’s a different story.

There have been a lot of mixed signals between us. I don’t know if he’s shy, dating, uninterested or, quite possibly, intimidated by me. (I’ve had more then a few guys tell me they’d date me, except that I’m scary.) See, I’ve e-mailed him a few times, trying to open a more intimate channel of communication, but all I got was a few words in response. But on the other hand, he brings me a platter of deli cookies every time that he comes, stays to chat with me and always goofs around with me on the phone when he calls. See? MIXED SIGNALS.

Now Mary, who I work with, seems determined to find me a boyfriend. Well, in truth she’s more interested in finding me a husband. Last week while I was on the phone with said guy, she popped up behind me and began shouting into the phone, asking if he was married. He said no, then bid a hasty goodbye, we think he was afraid that she was going to ask him out.

Not half an hour ago, said guy came in to drop something off and chat. We were having a nice time of it when Mary came running up behind me. I looked him in the eye and said flatly “RUN AWAY!” but he stayed, thinking I was kidding. The exchange went something like this:

Me: “Go! Run now! Leave!”
Him: *with a very cute smile and a little laugh* “What’s going on?”
Mary: “You’re single, right?”
Me: “I’m running away then. Bye!” *runs away and hides behind the wall, knowing full well what is coming*
Him: “Yes, yes I am.”
Mary: “Well then, what you need to do is ask out our Kelly. Isn’t that a great idea?”
Me: *not quite wanting to hear a full rejection, since I’ve been having a great day, runs far far away, far enough that I can only hear his awkward laugh*

I’m going to kill that woman… I truly am.

*EDIT* Since you all seem so interested in his response, I will share with you what Mary told (and won't stop retelling) me:

Apparently he looked relieved, I think because he was afraid she was going to ask him out, then said "That'll work." Then, after Mary had extracted a promise that he would, he ran away. Fast. Apparently he, and I quote "Damn near tripped over his own feet trying to get out the door, the poor boy."