January 31, 2007

“Man, It’s Cold Out There!”

I barely pass for human in the mornings. Really. I openly pity any man and or children who might come to live with me, cause they’ll have to deal with my pissy mood when I wake.

So yesterday morning, when I was standing in the bathroom rather blearily doing my makeup and I heard my aunt telling her dog “It’s cold outside! Brrrr…” the first thing that passed through my mind was:

“My god how DOES she make such keen observations? She could work for the Weather Channel.” (See? Bitch.) Then I proceeded to have a silent rant to myself about how annoying it is when people come in from outside and inform you that it’s cold.

It’s January! It’s supposed to be cold!

Fast forward to me at the gas station, filling my bone dry tank up. No hat, no scarf, bouncing up and down to stay warm (does that even work?) and what’s the first thing out of my mouth when I get back in my car?

“Man it’s cold out there!”

Fast forward a bit more to me at work. Now since I work at the front desk I hear “It’s cold.” In many different variations about 30 times a day. One guy, who I’m always picking on, walks in and says just that. I turn to him and address him quite seriously.

Me: “You know, I was watching the Discovery Channel yesterday…”
Him: *turning and looking interested* “Yeah?”
Me: “Yeah, and these scientists… they discovered that it tends to get cold in January.”
Him: “I am really going to kick your ass one of these days.”
Me: *sweet smile*


Tracey said...

Why do people go out of there way to point out the painstakingly obvious. It's even worse for those of us on the front line who have to hear it over and over and over again.
I used to work at a bank, and whenever you would ask someone how they wanted their cash back, 8 times out of 10 you would get the reply, "Green" followed by this loud annoying chuckle......"Oh! Ha ha ha ha, my you are so witty, gosh it's only the 37th time I've heard that one today, gosh, you ought to be a comedian." There were some customers that were lucky to walk out of the bank with their money in their pockets rather than stuffed up their nose.

Chris said...

You probably wouldn't survive here in Minnesota, where we talk about the weather ALL THE TIME. :)

Samantha said...

Gosh, it is unseasonably warm in the UK at the moment.