Me: Good morning, how can I help you?
Customer: I’d like to talk to Bob
M: He’s not in right now, would you like his voicemail?
C: …………… Ok.
Me: Good morning, etc.
C: Umm.. yeah, can I umm talk to umm Mike?
M: May I ask who’s calling?
C: Ummm…. Frank.
M: Good morning, blah blah blah
C: Well a very good morning to you! Would you be so kind as to let me speak to Joe?
M: Well sure, hold on one moment…. I’m sorry he’s on the line right now. Do you want his voicemail?
C: *sigh* I guess, since obviously you can’t be bothered with going back to let him know I’m on the line…
The Fast Talkers:
M: Good mor-
C: Bill please
M: I’m sorry he’s n-
C: Voicemail please
M: Good afternoon, etc.
M: I’m sorry?
M: I’m sorry I can’t hear y-
C: I WANT TO TALK TO DAN!!!
M: Sorry about that. May I ask who's calling?
M: Good afternoon, babble babble
C: Hi, this is John from Steel Shippers and I need to talk to Scott about the steel support beams for the West Chester job, specifically about the angles and the thickness of the steel and my shoe size is 9 and I have brown hair and my great uncle’s name is Peggy and I have a hamster named Cuddles and I like cheese.
M: ……… I’m sorry what’s your name again?
The Center of The Universes:
M: Good morning, etc.
C: Hi, it’s me again.
M: Umm… me who?
C: Gary. I want to talk to Mark again.
M: He’s on the line…
C: Go put a note in front of him that I’m holding.
M: …… Yeah, he’s still on the line
C: Did you put the note?
C: Did he read it?
M: I assume so…
C: Well why isn’t he picking up then?
M: *maybe because you’re annoying?* I have no idea sir, would you like to leave a voicemail?
M: Good afternoon, etc.
C: Hi, someone just called me from this number…
M: Um… did they leave a message?
C: No. But they called from this number.
M: Well yes sir, but they don’t come up and use my phone to make their calls. I have no idea who called you.
C: Well… put me on hold and go tell everyone I’m on the line and someone will want the call.
M: Sir… if they want to talk to you they’ll call back.
M: Good morning, babble babble babble
C: Let me talk to John
M: May I ask wh-
C: Haven’t you learned my voice yet? God! It’s Jim. I. Want. To. Talk. To. John.
M: Hold please…. He’s not answering.
C: Give me his cell phone number.
M: I’m sorry I can’t give out those numbers.
C: You know I have it somewhere around here, so just stop wasting my time and give it to me.
M: Sorry sir, I can’t.