In A Year

A year ago I was going through some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face. My plans for college were destroyed and the future I had hoped for myself seemed to move forever out of my grasp. I was working in a job that I hated, suffering migraines with alarming frequency and hated life in general.

A year ago I decided to change myself, my life, my path. I quit my job without having another. I cut those chains that were holding me down, holding me back, and trusted solely in myself to find surer footing.

A year ago my life was up in the air. I was miserable and afraid, terrified that I would fail in my brave attempt to better myself, afraid that I would disappoint everyone, that I would disappoint myself. My fear could have consumed me, destroyed my attempts, sent me limping and pathetic back to my old job to beg to return.

A year ago I was desperately clinging to childhood with both hands, afraid of what would happen if I let go, if I admitted to myself and the world that I was an adult.

A year ago I changed my life. Looking back at it now, I couldn’t be prouder of myself.

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One year ago today I quit my job at Osco Drug. I had no idea what I would do for money, I had nothing saved up in the bank and bills to pay. But I left just the same, breaking myself away from what my bosses had drilled into me, that all I would ever be was their servant, to fetch and carry and spend hours toiling over thankless jobs for a meager salary. That the best I could ever be was what they treated me like, a worthless kid with no future beyond price-checks and stocking shelves.

Monday I began my search for a new job. Out of 67 faxed and e-mailed resumes I received 1 phone call. Just 1. I went in and was very upset when I discovered that it was a temp agency. I’ve temped before and while it isn’t horrible, I wanted something steady, solid, secure. I wanted a real job. But any job is better than none at all, so I stayed and did the silly little tests. That was Tuesday.

Wednesday I started as a temp receptionist. I didn’t quite know what to make of the people and the job. They were quiet, but not in a rude way, and the job itself was different than I had imagined. My first week there was intense and my boss made anxious jokes about whether or not I was going to return from lunch or show up the next morning.

Next week, on Tuesday August 22nd, I will have been at my job for a year. It still amazes me that I left my job and was unemployed for a grand total of 3 days. It amazes me even more that in those 3 days I managed to find a job that not only pays well, but that I love. No, it’s not a career and no, I haven’t given up on school, but to not wake every morning and cry because you know you have to go to work that day, that again you will face the cruel, petty torments of your boss and co-workers, that is worth so much to me.

Thanks for sharing the past year with me. Here’s hoping that the next one will be even better.